Doing the Expected

I am going to Fall Formal tonight.
I don't want to.
I am going because I have a dress, because I paid for the ticket, because I told everyone I was going, even though I don't want to and I know I won't enjoy myself. 

To be honest, I would much rather go to the LARP I usually attend every other Friday, where for five or six hours I can forget who I am and become someone else, all for the cost of only two dollars - where I can get a mysterious note or hear someone say something that makes my knees tremble and my stomach twist but it's not my knees or my stomach, even though my mind pretends it is.  At the dance, all I can do is dance for a little while, get tired, sit down, drink punch, eat chocolate, get sick, want to go home, and be stuck until my ride decides she wants to go home. 

I hate loud noises, I hate crowds, I hate modern music, and I hate the fact that the only reason I'm going to this godforsaken dance is because everyone expects me to.

I am so disappointed in myself right now.

Sooo today my English professor (WHY AM I STILL BLOGGING ABOUT MY ENGLISH PROFESSOR WHY GOD WHY I SWEAR I AM NOT STALKING HER) had an on-campus event about getting published!  I wanted to go to this like crazy, because holy shit, do I wanna be published someday or what.  So I wrote the date and time down on a post-it note.  Everything that's important in my life goes on post-it notes, because post-it notes are awesome and will always remind me of what's going on by casually dangling three inches away from my face, always proclaiming, "Hey!  Hey, you got stuff going on!  Hey!  Hey, don't forget, okay?"

Well, I forgot.

This is presumably because I am a horrible person, or perhaps because I happened to, I dunno, get caught up in studying for the calc quiz I wouldn't be taking tomorrow if I were an English major.

So many things in my life could be remedied immediately if I just became a goddamn English major.

Also I failed a Physics Lab exam today.

I hate everything and fail at life, and more than anything I just want to curl up and cry and then sleep from now until the end of forever, but I can't, because I have this stupid calc quiz and a calc exam next week and a Physics lecture exam next week and a short story due next week and a lab report and a Cell Bio exam after Fall Break, and god help me all I want to do is get some real sleep and not be so worried about everything.

My English professor probably hates me

I feel like I'm pretty much constantly emailing my creative writing professor over useless silly things that don't really require emailing.  Just the other day I emailed her to inform her that I couldn't take the class she's teaching  next semester, and this sparked a long and utterly pointless conversation that eventually ended when she just flat out stopped responding to my emails, presumably because dammit, she  had better things to do than to humor me for another hour and a half.

And tonight I emailed her to inform her that one page of the PDF we're supposed to be reading in two weeks (yes two weeks shut up) is messed up, and perhaps she ought to correct that before it's actually relevant to the class.

I'm pretty sure I've been delegated as "That Girl Who Won't Stop Emailing Me" in Dr. I's mind. 

Which is okay, because she's been delegated as "That Professor Who Won't Stop Trying to Get Me to Change My Major" in my mind.  An eye for an eye, Doctor. 

She gets to see me for fifteen whole not-in-class minutes tomorrow, too, bless her soul.  If she doesn't go mad, she's probably a saint.

Hello, Internet!

So my name is LeFox.  No, not really, but it's what I go by here on the Marvelous World of the Internet, and you can call me Fox.  Or anything, really.

I am currently a college student, which is pretty awesome, even though college is eating my life.  When I'm not at college, I live in a tiny town in the middle of Missouri, which is less awesome, but it's home.  At said home in the aforementioned small town, I have six cats, and I will probably talk about them a lot.  I hope that's okay.

Their names are Raz (the fat old grey one), Shadow (the fatter, older black and white one), SnoBall (the bitchy little white one), Artimis (the gender-confused fluffy white one), Camrin/Cammie (the fat adorable white one), and Neko (the itty-bitty speck of a black cat).  I just thought I ought to get the introductions out of the way, since it's almost impossible that I'll go for very long without mentioning one or all of them.  I'm something of a crazy cat person, but I hear that's pretty common around here, so that's okay.

SO.  UM.  College.  I'm a forensic science major and an English minor, mostly because I like to screw with people's heads I was bound to take a ton of English classes anyway, as I adore it.  I'd probably be an English major if I could see myself doing anything with it, but I can't stand teaching, and I don't have the patience to sit down and write a damn novel.  Besides, I adore biology.  At some point in the future, I hope to become a forensic anthropologist.  Unfortunately, right now, things are a bit confusing - the professors I'm forging friendships with are all English professors, rather than professors in any of the forensic science departments.  I'm pretty sure I'm destined to become an English major against my will, but I'm resisting it with everything I've got.

Other interesting facts about me:

• I'm a mildly psychotic Final Fantasy IX fan.  
• I roleplay!  Both online and LARPing (I play a Tremere in a Vampire: the Masquerade game).
• My favorite author is George R. R. Martin.  I couldn't name a second favorite off the tip of my tongue.
• My favorite band is probably god I don't even know.
• I barely watch TV, so I don't have a favorite show.
• I have two tattoos.  They're pretty fantastic.

So that's that.  Er, hello, Internet!

Edit:
Er, other blogs:
LeFox at LiveJournal My personal blog (full of nonsense and angst)
Fox_at_College at LiveJournal  My college blog (full of nonsense and angst, with bonus college stuff)